The Beginning…
Of a new and powerful lifelong spiritual journey!
Some helpful ideas when going through the steps: Set regular times to get together, and have your sponsee agree to be on time, ready to go. The main focus for the new person is to pay attention. This is not a lesson or a lecture. Nor is it a debate.
Using highlighters in the big book is an easy way for the new person to note important parts without the distraction of taking notes.
Read the selections mentioned from the Big Book. Talk about what you have just read or ask the suggested questions from this book. Write out the suggested example on a white board if you have one, or use a paper pad or notebook.
Open each session by reading this long version of the Serenity Prayer, and the Set Aside Prayer out loud.
The Serenity Prayer
God, grant me the Serenity
To accept things, I cannot change
The Courage to change things I can
And the Wisdom to know the difference
Living one day at a time
Enjoying one moment at a time
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace
Taking this world as it is, not as I would have it
Trusting that you will make all things right
If I surrender to your will
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life
And supremely happy with you forever in the next. Amen
The Set Aside Prayer
God, please help me set aside anything I think I know about myself, about my disease, about the Big Book, the 12 Steps, the Program, the Fellowship, the people in the Fellowship, and all spiritual terms, especially you God. So that I may have an open mind, and a new experience with all these things. Please help me see the Truth. Amen
“All beings like yourself are responsible for their own actions. Suffering or happiness is created through one’s relationship to experience, not by experience itself.” ~Unknown
“Although I wish only the best for you, I know that your happiness, or unhappiness, depends on your actions, not on my wishes for you.” ~Unknown
Read the bedevilments, from the 2nd sentence of the 2nd paragraph on pg. 52 “We were having trouble with…”
Ask your sponsee if they can identify with having these problems.
“Why are you here? What do you expect to get out of doing the steps? How much effort are you willing to put into doing the work?”
You can discuss why you take people through the steps.
Step Twelve tells us to carry the message of recovery to other alcoholics and to practice these principles in all my affairs.
We have been entrusted to give away what has been so freely given us to those who are willing to do whatever it takes and complete the action steps required.
This is not an information session, or a reading – it is an action taking experience.
In order to get full value for your time and effort, do all of the work as outlined in the Big Book. Be prepared for what may be a very challenging and uncomfortable process.
Do the work, ask questions, stay teachable, and you will be amazed before you are halfway through!
In the Big Book they tell us taking someone through the steps is the way to enhance and strengthen our own spiritual connection to God.
The second paragraph of chapter 5 pg. 58, read at most A.A. meetings, also tells us: “If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get It – then you are ready to take certain steps.”
The ‘it’ they are referring to is living our lives one day at a time, without the need, or obsession for alcohol, or any other mind altering substances.
‘It’ means being able to live – not just sober – but happy, joyous, and free.
Grateful to be alive. Content in the sufficiency of God’s Grace and following his will for us.
“Am I now willing to go to any lengths to overcome alcoholism and get It?”
Read the promises from pg. 83 starting with: “If we are painstaking…” and finishing on pg. 84 “… if we work for them.”
A lot of words in the Big Book may have a different meaning than you think, so use the dictionary. If you are not sure, look it up!
There is a great resource of most of the words in the Big Book: The Little Big Book Dictionary (see Resources for where to get one)
Review the statistics from the forwards to the First, Second, Third and Fourth Editions. These statistics are very important to establish A.A. credibility. It tells us of the rapid growth of A.A.
And more importantly, the incredible success early members had in passing on the message of recovery.
Page Year Numbers Groups Countries
XVII 1939 100 3 1
XV 1955 150,000 6,000 50
XXII 1976 1,000,000 28,000 90
XXIII 2001 2,000,000 100,800 150
Percentage of people that stayed in A.A.
50% stayed immediately, 25% stayed eventually, 7% were helped
A.A. credibility: at least 75% of the people that did the work were getting and staying sober.
Read How It Works from Chapter Three, from “Rarely have we seen a person fail…” pg. 58 to “…if He were sought.” pg. 60 The Religious view pg. 572, the medical view pg. 569
What does the herd instinct mean? The idea that the strong and healthy will protect the young, the weak, and the sick. Those that regain their healthy will then continue on with helping others. (One example is penguins.)
“What do you want out of life: what would ‘happy, joyous, and free’ look like in your life?”
Work with your sponsee to write out words to describe attributes of being happy, joyous, and free.
Here are a few examples: patience, love, acceptance, happiness, gratitude, trust, peace, family, purpose, honesty, humility, cheerfulness, respect, security, serenity, dignity, health, integrity, wealth, freedom, forgiveness…
Read the difference between a spiritual experience and a spiritual awakening pg. 567
The Big Book has a lot of promises throughout. So here is the opportunity for your sponsee to make some promises that they can follow during and after the steps.
We begin this journey by making a Willingness Checklist.
It will remind us of the essentials. This is an action step we make to remind us of what we are striving to accomplish as we work through the steps.
Turn to the blank page in the front of your Big Book and write the following:
I promise to:
- Do all of the work and homework required to complete the steps
- Remain honest, open-minded, willing, and teachable
- Continue to seek the power of God in my life
- Do a complete and searching written inventory
- Keep working with God to remove my character defects
- Make amends to those I have harmed
- Do all the daily disciplines
- Work with other alcoholics to carry the message of recovery
“If we are to find God the desire must come from within.”
“Are you now ready and willing to commit to doing the work, and do what you stated in your checklist?”
If you can respond with a resounding “Yes – I am now ready and willing to do the work.” sign and date the Willingness Checklist.
There may be hesitation at this point and that is perfectly normal.
You may be able to talk through it.
However, if the unwillingness persists, you may have to postpone the steps until there is a change of mind.
“Even if you may be down to the worst, the best is potentially within you. You only have to find it, release it, and rise up with it. This requires courage and character, to be sure, but the main requirement is faith. Cultivate faith and you will have the necessary courage and character.” ~ Norman Vincent Peale
We are reminded as we go through the steps, to our way of thinking, they may not make sense.
This is a spiritual solution.
The solution is not something that we figure out. If you could study and learn enough about alcoholism to figure it out, you wouldn’t need to be here doing the work.
They talk many times about willingness in the Big Book.
God doesn’t come into your life through your brain; God comes into your life through your heart.
You will never figure it out.
Quotes and more quotes:
“We resist because our ego tells us there is no urgency, we believe we have time.”
“All beings are responsible for their own actions.”
“It’s not what happens to you in your life that’s important,
It’s what you do with your life that’s important.”
“Worry is the interest, paid in advance, on a debt you may never owe.”
End of session 1a
Preface and Forwards