The Step Four Inventory Continues
Review: Where Was I to Blame
Once these columns have been completed: Where Was I to Blame, Fears, and Character Defects. we may realize some hard facts about our lives.
We’ve been selfish, self-centered, irresponsible, blaming, egocentric, demanding, complaining, full of pride, self-pity, and fear, most of our lives.
“What realizations did you have out of doing the Session 4a and 4b work?”
If you read each resentment backwards. Starting with the character defect – fear – my part – affects my – cause – resentment. What becomes apparent?
When we act out of character defects; fear, pride, anger, gluttony, greed, envy, lust, and sloth, we become full of guilt, remorse and shame. We make mostly bad decisions, which cause the resentments we have towards others and the resentments others towards us.
How can we still hold these resentments for what others have done to us, realizing what we have done to them?
Can we now take a kind and tolerant view towards all of the people on our resentment list?
We might realize we could stop praying for justice, and start praying for mercy.
With our new understanding, can we now begin to practice our code of love, tolerant, patient and kindness towards all, even our enemies?
What do we do about people on our list that we are having trouble practicing our code?
Well… of course there is a solution for this in the Big Book.
Go through you list and see if you are still holding onto any resentments.
Read the story ‘Freedom from Bondage’ starting on pg.544. There is a prayer at the end of the story on page 552 called the ‘552 prayer’. We can say this prayer for each resentment we are still holding, exactly as it is laid out, for the two full weeks, even if we start feeling better sooner.
Important: keep the list; you will need it for Step Five.
Sex Conduct, Sexual Inventory
Read the bedevilments again. pg. 52 (2nd paragraph)
Reminder about privacy: What stays in the room? EVERYTHING!
Read “Now about sex…” pg. 68 down to “… would mean heartache.” pg. 70
In doing our sexual conduct list we do a similar list as with our resentment list: Turn to prayer and lots of it, as usual, for this step.
Column 1 – We make a list of all our sexual relationships.
Column 2 – We list our conduct with this person.
Column 3 – Where were we at fault? Where had we been; selfish, dishonest, inconsiderate, prideful, etc.? Our Character Defects. Were our motives; selfish or unselfish? Had we been “other-centered” or “self-centered”?
Column 4 – Whom had we hurt? Not just them. What about parents, children and friends?
Column 5 – Did I unjustly arouse: a) suspicion b) jealousy c) bitterness
Column 6 – What should I have done instead?
End of Session 5
Step Four Continues and Sexual Conduct